The holiday season is drawing to a close. Anyone overindulge?
If you had a bit more of the holiday goodies than you wanted, was it because they were calling your name and you decided to indulge, or did you cave to pressure from a friend or family member who really wanted you to have something?
Do we need to wear a pin to parties which says, “Please don’t subject me to peer pressure for (insert occasion of your choice)”?
How should the following exchange progress:
How are you?
Fine, how are you?
Great! Have you tried these cookies?
No, but they are cute.
Here, have one!
No, thank you.
At this point, the conversation could take many turns:
Ok, what have you been up to all week?
Why not?
What about this small one?
Do we need to resort to excuses which may or may not be considered sufficient?
I’m allergic. (Can’t you take something?)
I’m diabetic. (Oh, but they are sugar free!)
I hate them. (But they are so yummy! What about those?)
I just don’t want one. Nothing personal. (But it’s [insert occasion here]!)
So-and-so licked them. (Save me- I’m grasping at straws!)
Has anyone considered that not accepting no thank you is essentially starting an argument, and do we really want to do that at a party?
Is there anyone who has not felt coerced into accepting something we didn’t want, just to keep someone else happy? (Oh, this sweater is just perfect for you!)
Has anyone said no thank you without the instant worry that there is going to be an uncomfortable expectation of justification? Do you really need to offer a graphic, medical reason to say no thank you? Because even if there is one, are we obliged to share at parties?
Do we need to admit to taking a handful of candy off every desk in the building from Halloween until New Year's Eve, every hour, and that this final cookie will set off an internal ticking time bomb which is primed to explode and coat everyone on our side of the room with icky guts? (To which we hear, one more cookie after all that is no big deal?)
How about when we hear people say no, thank you, we accept it? Imagine the relief we could generate! A true gift.
It is so easy to say yes. It is so easy to go along with things. It is called giving in to peer pressure. When the pressure is applied strongly enough, it is called bullying. It adds stress to any occasion. It makes people wonder why they aren’t worthy of consideration. It leads to regret.
How about we don’t ask questions if we don’t want to hear the answers?
Real friends believe you when you say no, thank you.
No questions asked.
How are you?
Fine, how are you?
Great! Have you tried these cookies?
No, but they are cute.
Here, have one!
No, thank you.
Ok, what have you been up to all week?
Why not?
What about this small one?
I’m allergic. (Can’t you take something?)
I’m diabetic. (Oh, but they are sugar free!)
I hate them. (But they are so yummy! What about those?)
I just don’t want one. Nothing personal. (But it’s [insert occasion here]!)
So-and-so licked them. (Save me- I’m grasping at straws!)
Is there anyone who has not felt coerced into accepting something we didn’t want, just to keep someone else happy? (Oh, this sweater is just perfect for you!)
Has anyone said no thank you without the instant worry that there is going to be an uncomfortable expectation of justification? Do you really need to offer a graphic, medical reason to say no thank you? Because even if there is one, are we obliged to share at parties?
Do we need to admit to taking a handful of candy off every desk in the building from Halloween until New Year's Eve, every hour, and that this final cookie will set off an internal ticking time bomb which is primed to explode and coat everyone on our side of the room with icky guts? (To which we hear, one more cookie after all that is no big deal?)
No questions asked.
